Child: Mom, I want to have an apple.
Mom: But you had ur lunch just now.
Child: I have broken the window glass of the Doctor so I want to keep him away.
A baby mosquito came back after its 1st flight.
Dad: How did u feel?
Baby Mosquito: Dad it was wonderful, evry1 was clapping 4 me
Banta: Why you kept the door open while taking a bath?
Santa: I am scared.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Bcoz someone might peek through d key-hole.
An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.
Santa was observing him. Suddenly a star falls.
Seeing that Santa shouted, `what a shot!`
Banta 2 his bride: Preeto, now we r married, do u think u will b able 2 live on my small income?
Preeto: Of course, no problem, but what will u live on?
Banta: What will you advise your children about marriage?
Santa: I`ll never marry in my life and I`ll give the same advice to my children also.
Santa owned a factory. He issued orders that only married men would be employed.
Banta: Why this?
Santa: Because married men are more obedient.
Customer: Waiter, is this food pure?
Waiter: As pure as the girl of your dreams, sir!
Customer: Oh, then I will not have it. Thanks!
Customer: There is only one piece of meat in my plate.
Waiter: Don`t worry sir. I will cut it in two..
Jeeto: I have just read an interesting article that most of the accidents that happen, happen in the kitchen,
Santa: I know you always expect me to eat them.
Jeeto: My husband wears clothes that will never go out of style. They will always look ridiculous.
Santa: I`m teribly worried. I keep seeing pink crocodile every time I try 2 go 2 sleep.
Dr.: Hav u seen a psychiatrist?
Santa: No, only pink crocodile.
Banta: How dare you split in front of my wife?
Santa: Why, was it her turn?
Santa: Call me a taxi?
Banta: But you look like a truck to me.
Waiter: Would you like white coffee or black coffee, Sir?
Santa: Do you have any other colors?
Santa: I once had a girl friend who was so ugly. The only people who ever asked her to go to bed were her parents.
Student Doctor: There is some writing on this patient`s foot.
Surgeon: Ah, yes! That is a footnote.
Doctor: Do you snore at night?
Santa: Only when I am not awake.
Santa: I would like to buy a little cottage for the woman I love.
Banta: So why don`t you?
Santa: My wife won`t let me.
Teacher: If I were to ask you to add 9731 to 237 and then halve it. Wat do u think u would get?
Johnny: The wrong answer, madam.
Teacher: Where are you from?
New pupil: From Himachal Pradesh.
Teacher: Which part?
New pupil: Whole of me, madam.
Banta: Why is the Indian cricket team nightmarish?
Santa: Because it is a dream team.
Shopkeeper: Sir, do you want a pocket calculator?
Santa: No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have.
Banta: Why was the convict bad at essay-writing?
Santa: Bcoz he spent several years in sentence.
Every person is a Freedom Fighter;
soon after marriage.
Master: Wat will u do wid Rs.100 lying on d floor? Will u keep it?
Servant: Of course not.
Master: Then wat will u do with it?
Servant: I will spend it.
Many of Life`s failures are people who did not realize, how close they were to success when they gave up.
Don`t run through life so fast.
Then you forget not only where you have been, but where you are.
Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength.
Girl: Do you love me?
Santa: Yes Dear!
Girl: Would you die for me?
Santa: No, mine is undying Love!
Boy at a ball: Whenever I dance with you, the music lasts only a short time.
Girl: No wonder, the band leader is my fiance.
A Bumper Sticker on a married Man`s Car:
Do not disturb...
Already disturbed.
Santa wakes up in a hospital bed aftr a terrible accident & cries, `Dr. I can`t feel my legs`.
Doctor: Well of course u can`t, I`ve cut off both of ur arms.
Pappu: The people next door must be poor.
Jeeto: Why do you say that?
Pappu: Bcoz they made such a fuss when d baby swallowed a 10 paisa coin
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