• Child: Mom, I want to have an apple.

    Mom: But you had ur lunch just now.

    Child: I have broken the window glass of the Doctor so I want to keep him away. 























  • A baby mosquito came back after its 1st flight.

    Dad: How did u feel?

    Baby Mosquito: Dad it was wonderful, evry1 was clapping 4 me





















  • Banta: Why you kept the door open while taking a bath?

    Santa: I am scared.

    Banta: Why?

    Santa: Bcoz someone might peek through d key-hole.





















  • An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.

    Santa was observing him. Suddenly a star falls.

    Seeing that Santa shouted, `what a shot!`





















  • Banta 2 his bride: Preeto, now we r married, do u think u will b able 2 live on my small income?

    Preeto: Of course, no problem, but what will u live on?




















  • Banta: What will you advise your children about marriage?


    Santa: I`ll never marry in my life and I`ll give the same advice to my children also.


















  • Santa owned a factory. He issued orders that only married men would be employed.

    Banta: Why this?

    Santa: Because married men are more obedient.























  • Customer: Waiter, is this food pure?

    Waiter: As pure as the girl of your dreams, sir!

    Customer: Oh, then I will not have it. Thanks!



















  • Customer: There is only one piece of meat in my plate.

    Waiter: Don`t worry sir. I will cut it in two..




















  • Jeeto: I have just read an interesting article that most of the accidents that happen, happen in the kitchen,


    Santa: I know you always expect me to eat them. 




















  • Jeeto: My husband wears clothes that will never go out of style. They will always look ridiculous. 





















  • Santa: I`m teribly worried. I keep seeing pink crocodile every time I try 2 go 2 sleep.

    Dr.: Hav u seen a psychiatrist?

    Santa: No, only pink crocodile.





















  • Banta: How dare you split in front of my wife?

    Santa: Why, was it her turn?


















  • Santa: Call me a taxi?

    Banta: But you look like a truck to me.





















  • Waiter: Would you like white coffee or black coffee, Sir?

    Santa: Do you have any other colors?





















  • Santa: I once had a girl friend who was so ugly. The only people who ever asked her to go to bed were her parents.


















  • Student Doctor: There is some writing on this patient`s foot.

    Surgeon: Ah, yes! That is a footnote.





















  • Doctor: Do you snore at night?

    Santa: Only when I am not awake.


















  • Santa: I would like to buy a little cottage for the woman I love.


    Banta: So why don`t you?

    Santa: My wife won`t let me. 




















  • Teacher: If I were to ask you to add 9731 to 237 and then halve it. Wat do u think u would get?

    Johnny: The wrong answer, madam.





















  • Teacher: Where are you from?

    New pupil: From Himachal Pradesh.

    Teacher: Which part?

    New pupil: Whole of me, madam.





















  • Banta: Why is the Indian cricket team nightmarish?

    Santa: Because it is a dream team.





















  • Shopkeeper: Sir, do you want a pocket calculator?

    Santa: No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have.




















  • Banta: Why was the convict bad at essay-writing?

    Santa: Bcoz he spent several years in sentence.  





















  • Every person is a Freedom Fighter;

    soon after marriage.































  • Master: Wat will u do wid Rs.100 lying on d floor? Will u keep it?

    Servant: Of course not.

    Master: Then wat will u do with it?

    Servant: I will spend it.

























  • Many of Life`s failures are people who did not realize, how close they were to success when they gave up.

























  • Don`t run through life so fast.

    Then you forget not only where you have been, but where you are.

























  • Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength.
























  • Girl: Do you love me?

    Santa: Yes Dear!


    Girl: Would you die for me?

    Santa: No, mine is undying Love!
























  • Boy at a ball: Whenever I dance with you, the music lasts only a short time.

    Girl: No wonder, the band leader is my fiance.























  • A Bumper Sticker on a married Man`s Car:

    Do not disturb...

    Already disturbed.























  • Santa wakes up in a hospital bed aftr a terrible accident & cries, `Dr. I can`t feel my legs`.

    Doctor: Well of course u can`t, I`ve cut off both of ur arms.























  • Pappu: The people next door must be poor.

    Jeeto: Why do you say that?

    Pappu: Bcoz they made such a fuss when d baby swallowed a 10 paisa coin









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