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Most Funnies Short Jokes ! [Includes Santa Banta Jokes too !]

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<li style="color: #4c1130;">Child: Mom, I want to have an apple. 
 
Mom: But you had ur lunch just now. 
 
Child: I have broken the window glass of the Doctor so I want to keep him away. </li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li style="color: #4c1130;">A baby mosquito came back after its 1st flight. 
 
Dad: How did u feel? 
 
Baby Mosquito: Dad it was wonderful, evry1 was clapping 4 me </li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li style="color: #4c1130;">Banta: Why you kept the door open while taking a bath? 
 
Santa: I am scared. 
 
Banta: Why? 
 
Santa: Bcoz someone might peek through d key-hole.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope. 
 
Santa was observing him. Suddenly a star falls. 
 
Seeing that Santa shouted, `what a shot!`</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Banta 2 his bride: Preeto, now we r married, do u think u will b able 2 live on my small income? 
 
Preeto: Of course, no problem, but what will u live on?</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Banta: What will you advise your children about marriage? 
 
 
Santa: I`ll never marry in my life and I`ll give the same advice to my children also.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Santa owned a factory. He issued orders that only married men would be employed. 
 
Banta: Why this? 
 
Santa: Because married men are more obedient.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Customer: Waiter, is this food pure? 
 
Waiter: As pure as the girl of your dreams, sir! 
 
Customer: Oh, then I will not have it. Thanks!</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Customer: There is only one piece of meat in my plate. 
 
Waiter: Don`t worry sir. I will cut it in two..</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li style="color: #4c1130;">Jeeto: I have just read an interesting article that most of the accidents that happen, happen in the kitchen, 
 
 
Santa: I know you always expect me to eat them. </li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li style="color: #4c1130;">Jeeto: My husband wears clothes that will never go out of style. They will always look ridiculous. </li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li style="color: #4c1130;">Santa: I`m teribly worried. I keep seeing pink crocodile every time I try 2 go 2 sleep. 
 
Dr.: Hav u seen a psychiatrist? 
 
Santa: No, only pink crocodile.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li style="color: #4c1130;">Banta: How dare you split in front of my wife? 
 
Santa: Why, was it her turn?</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li style="color: #4c1130;">Santa: Call me a taxi? 
 
Banta: But you look like a truck to me.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li style="color: #4c1130;">Waiter: Would you like white coffee or black coffee, Sir? 
 
Santa: Do you have any other colors?</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li style="color: #4c1130;">Santa: I once had a girl friend who was so ugly. The only people who ever asked her to go to bed were her parents.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li style="color: #4c1130;">Student Doctor: There is some writing on this patient`s foot. 
 
Surgeon: Ah, yes! That is a footnote.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li style="color: #4c1130;">Doctor: Do you snore at night? 
 
Santa: Only when I am not awake.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Santa: I would like to buy a little cottage for the woman I love. 
 
 
Banta: So why don`t you? 
 
Santa: My wife won`t let me. </li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Teacher: If I were to ask you to add 9731 to 237 and then halve it. Wat do u think u would get? 
 
Johnny: The wrong answer, madam.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Teacher: Where are you from? 
 
New pupil: From Himachal Pradesh. 
 
Teacher: Which part? 
 
New pupil: Whole of me, madam.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Banta: Why is the Indian cricket team nightmarish? 
 
Santa: Because it is a dream team.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Shopkeeper: Sir, do you want a pocket calculator? 
 
Santa: No, thanks. I know how many pockets I have.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Banta: Why was the convict bad at essay-writing? 
 
Santa: Bcoz he spent several years in sentence.  </li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Every person is a Freedom Fighter; 
 
soon after marriage.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Master: Wat will u do wid Rs.100 lying on d floor? Will u keep it? 
 
 Servant: Of course not. 
 
Master: Then wat will u do with it? 
 
Servant: I will spend it.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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<li>Many of Life`s failures are people who did not realize, how close they were to success when they gave up.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li>Don`t run through life so fast. 
 
Then you forget not only where you have been, but where you are.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li>Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li>Girl: Do you love me? 
 
Santa: Yes Dear! 
 
 
Girl: Would you die for me? 
 
Santa: No, mine is undying Love!</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li>Boy at a ball: Whenever I dance with you, the music lasts only a short time. 
 
Girl: No wonder, the band leader is my fiance.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li>A Bumper Sticker on a married Man`s Car: 
 
Do not disturb... 
 
Already disturbed.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li>Santa wakes up in a hospital bed aftr a terrible accident & cries, `Dr. I can`t feel my legs`. 
 
Doctor: Well of course u can`t, I`ve cut off both of ur arms.</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
<li>Pappu: The people next door must be poor. 
 
Jeeto: Why do you say that? 
 
Pappu: Bcoz they made such a fuss when d baby swallowed a 10 paisa coin</li> 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Most Funnies Short Jokes ! [Includes Santa Banta Jokes too !]

Child: Mom, I want to have an apple. Mom: But you had ur lunch just now. Child: I have broken the window glass of th...